JannRonn

So it’s been a couple of weeks since my last post and somethings in my life have gone really right and others have just gone. This post is in no particular order just because I need to write before I explode.

Okay first and foremost I’m ready to quit school. Yes, I know I am in my last year and only have a few more classes before graduation but with everything else going on in my life school is the last thing I am thinking about. My classes aren’t difficult but I’m tired of having a smile on my face when on the inside i’m screaming bloody murder because my heart is not longer in it. School is no longer fun for me, it’s become a chore. A chore that just drains the life out of me just thinking about it.

Love life, what is that. The more time I am single the more and more I realize that when I used to joke about my husband was aborted because his mother had too many children just might not have been a joke. I want a relationship but then again I don’t. Most men see me as one of the guy’s and I can recall a time when my mother thought I was gay because my hair was short. I’ll never forget that awkward moment when she asked me was I gay. I didn’t know if I wanted to punch the shit out of her for even asking me a dumb ass question like that or cry because my mother thought I was gay. Nothing wrong with being gay but I am far from it. I don’t have one good example in my life of successful marriages or relationships. I don’t know what it’s supposed to look like but I have had my fair share of cheaters, abusers, and just plain ole assholes in my life.

My relationship with God is on the rocks. I know you are supposed to have a mustard seed of faith but for the last couple of weeks I have cussed God up one side and down the other. I think God keeping me in this hell hole of a life is a cruel joke to which I never found funny. I remember after my heart attack I used to pray for death and then I stopped because I felt that there was a reason I was still here. A little over a year later I have no idea what that reason is and if another heart attack comes I will not do anything to stop or save my life.

I have not worked a job in over a year, I’ve have applied to hundreds of places with maybe one or two phone interviews. I think the interviews go great but apparently I’m a bad judge of character because i’m still unemployed.  It’s quite dehumanizing when your mother has to help you provide the bare necessities for yourself. I feel like a “non-motherfucking factor bitch.” I walk around with a smile on my face daily and put up a front because nobody would even begin to understand my situation.

I’m not saying that my situation is no better or worse than the next man or woman, but I’ve been through more than the average person. I was molested as a teenager. I think I was 13 or 14, not really sure which because it is something that is never talked about. Shortly after the molestation I became sexually active. I gave my virginity away to someone who could care less about me. It was a joke to him, and afterwards I felt so dirty. I was a rebellious teen and my mother did the best she could, i.e. private school. I was a ungrateful teen. I was. Then I grew up and became an ungrateful adult and several times my mom and I have bumped heads but I guess that what unconditional love is all about because she hasn’t given up on me yet.

I hate my father, and every man in my life after him. My biologically father has never down anything for me but provide the sperm that created me. Sorry bastard. Am I bitter, hell yeah, I am very bitter. I wouldn’t spit on that man if he was on fire. If he dies I could care less because he did nothing. I think if he would have help my mother in some way that she might not have had to work as hard as she did to take care of us. My mother used to go without so that I could have. The sad part is his child support order was $15.00 a week. I’ve never seen a dime. He has been re-married for the past 15 years and did more for his step-son than he did for his own flesh and blood. Then my mother’s second husband gave me my name (well my name was already JannRonn but the way I spell it is because of him). When he cheated on my mother with his wife to whom he is still married to today, I didn’t know what cheating was I just knew daddy wasn’t coming back. I saw my mother crying and I remember her being so hurt one day that she and I cried together. Needless to say he and I lost contact. My mother got married again when I was 18 to a great dude Bill. Bill didn’t try to be my dad, and for that I will always have respect for him. Bill died of a blood clot back in 1999 and that was the last time I had a father in my life. Now, the second husnbad has popped back in my life the 1st time was in my mid-twenties. We were supposed to get together for Christmas but instead I opted for money because money was tight.

I got broken promises and so one day in my reckless mid-twenty i don’t give a fuck fashion I called him on his work voicemail and went off. Instead of saying something to me he called my mother and she understood my anger but she explained to me that there was a better way to handle the situation. With that said, communication ceased. Well it amazes me how tragedy or traumatic situations will bring out the compassion in people. So this past summer second husband found out about my heart attack and on my birthday called to apologize and tell me how much he loved me.

The little girl longing for a father was elated but the 33 year old woman who had grown up without a father all this time wasn’t impressed.  We hung out this summer, but at the end of the day trying to repair a 20 something year old wound was not a good idea. It’s all to be disappointed by the parent who has always had my back but to be hyped up and disappointed by a man who probably is only around because of a near death experience is just him trying to make a wrong right. Or at least it is in my opinion.

I have become socially anti-social. My once optimistic attitude is replaced by pessimism. I always expect the worse and when I’m right I don’t feel bad. I’ve lost my faith in God, family, friends, career, love, and most importantly self.

A friend of mine sent this in an email and I thought it was good to share because we all know someone who is looking for a job these days.

Interview Cheat Sheet

In the Days Before the Interview

• Draw a line down the center of a piece of paper. On the left side, make a bulleted list of what the employer is looking for based on the job posting. On the right side, make a bulleted list of the qualities you possess that fit those requirements.
• Research the company, industry and the competition.
• Prepare your 60-second personal statement.
• Write at least five success stories to answer behavioral interview questions (“Tell me about a time when…” or “Give me an example of a time…”).
• List five questions to ask the interviewer about the job, the company and the industry.
• Research salaries to determine your worth.
• Determine your salary needs based on your living expenses.
• Get permission from your references to use their names.

Prepare Your Interview Answers

Be ready to answer common interview questions such as these:

• Tell me about yourself.
• Why did you leave your last position, or why are you leaving your current position?
• What do you know about this company?
• What are your goals?
• What are your strengths and weaknesses?
• Why do you want to work here?
• What has been your most significant achievement?
• How would your last boss and colleagues describe you?
• Why should we hire you?
• What are your salary expectations?

Before You Go to the Interview

Do you look professional? Check yourself in the mirror; part of your confidence will come from looking good.

Carry these items to the interview:

• Several copies of your resume on quality paper.
• A copy of your references.
• A pad of paper on which to take notes, though notes are optional.
• Directions to the interview site.

Upon Arrival

• Arrive early — enter the building 10 minutes before your appointment.
• Review your prepared stories and answers.
• Go to the restroom and check your appearance one last time.
• Announce yourself to the receptionist in a professional manner.
• Stand and greet your interviewer with a hearty — not bone-crushing — handshake.
• Smile and maintain eye contact.

During the Interview

• Try to focus on the points you have prepared without sounding rehearsed or stiff.
• Relax and enjoy the conversation.
• Learn what you can about the company.
• Ask questions and listen; read between the lines.
• At the conclusion, thank the interviewer, and determine the next steps.
• Ask for the interviewer’s business card so you can send a follow-up letter.

After the Interview

• As soon as possible, write down what you are thinking and feeling.
• Later in the day, review what you wrote and assess how you did.
• Write an interview thank-you letter, reminding the interviewer of your qualities.

What are your strengths and weakness?

Assessing Your Strengths

Assess your skills, and you will identify your strengths. This is an exercise worth doing before any interview. Make a list of your skills, dividing them into three categories:

• Knowledge-Based Skills: Acquired from education and experience (e.g., computer skills, languages, degrees, training and technical ability).
• Transferable Skills: Your portable skills that you take from job to job (e.g., communication and people skills, analytical problem solving and planning skills)
• Personal Traits: Your unique qualities (e.g., dependable, flexible, friendly, hard working, expressive, formal, punctual and being a team player).

When you complete this list, choose three to five of those strengths that match what the employer is seeking in the job posting. Make sure you can give specific examples to demonstrate why you say that is your strength if probed further.

Assessing Your Weaknesses

This is probably the most dreaded part of the question. Everyone has weaknesses, but who wants to admit to them, especially in an interview?

The best way to handle this question is to minimize the trait and emphasize the positive. Select a trait and come up with a solution to overcome your weakness. Stay away from personal qualities and concentrate more on professional traits. For example: “I pride myself on being a ‘big picture’ guy. I have to admit I sometimes miss small details, but I always make sure I have someone who is detail-oriented on my team.”

Scripting Your Answers

Write a positive statement you can say with confidence:

“My strength is my flexibility to handle change. As customer service manager at my last job, I was able to turn around a negative working environment and develop a very supportive team. As far as weaknesses, I feel that my management skills could be stronger, and I am constantly working to improve them.”

When confronted with this question, remember the interviewer is looking for a fit. She is forming a picture of you based on your answers. A single answer will probably not keep you from getting the job, unless, of course, it is something blatant. Put your energy into your strengths statement — what you have to offer. Then let the interviewer know that although you may not be perfect, you are working on any shortcomings you have.

Why should we hire you?

The Wrong Track

Spencer answers by saying, “Because I need and want a job.” That’s nice, but the bottom line here is, “What can you do for us?”

Mariana says, “I’m a hard worker and really want to work for this company.” The majority of people think of themselves as hard workers — and why this company?

The Right Track

Tom’s answer to this question is, “Because I’m a good fit for the position.” Getting warmer, but more details, please.

Sharon answers, “I have what it takes to solve problems and do the job.” This is the best answer so far. Expand on this, and you’ve got it.

Develop a Sales Statement

The more detail you give, the better your answer will be. This is not a time to talk about what you want. Rather, it is a time to summarize your accomplishments and relate what makes you unique.

Product Inventory Exercise

The bottom line of this question is, “What can you do for this company?”

Start by looking at the job description or posting. What is the employer stressing as requirements of the job? What will it take to get the job done? Make a list of those requirements.

Next, do an inventory to determine what you have to offer as a fit for those requirements. Think of two or three key qualities you have to offer that match those the employer is seeking. Don’t underestimate personal traits that make you unique; your energy, personality type, working style and people skills are all very relevant to any job.

The Sales Pitch: You Are the Solution

From the list of requirements, match what you have to offer and merge the two into a summary statement. This is your sales pitch. It should be no more than two minutes long and should stress the traits that make you unique and a good match for the job.

Example: “From our conversations, it sounds as if you’re looking for someone to come in and take charge immediately. It also sounds like you are experiencing problems with some of your database systems. With my seven years of experience working with financial databases, I have saved companies thousands of dollars by streamlining systems. My high energy and quick learning style enable me to hit the ground and size up problems rapidly. My colleagues would tell you I’m a team player who maintains a positive attitude and outlook. I have the ability to stay focused in stressful situations and can be counted on when the going gets tough. I’m confident I would be a great addition to your team.”

What Makes You Unique?

Completing an exercise around this question will allow you to concentrate on your unique qualities. Like snowflakes, no two people are alike. Take some time to think about what sets you apart from others.

• “Never miss deadlines.”
• “Bring order to chaos.”
• “Good sense of humor.”
• “Great attention to detail.”

Let the interviewer know that you have been listening to the problem and have what it takes to do the job — that you are the solution to the problem.

You Can Survive the Behavioral Interview

When asked a traditional question like, “What would you do if you had a customer who wasn’t interested in buying the product?” you can make up a story. But when you’re asked behavioral questions, the interviewer is listening for specific examples of how you have handled situations or problems in the past.

When presented with interview questions beginning with phrases like “tell me about a time when” or “give me an example of” the interviewer wants to hear your real-life examples. When interviewers ask such behavioral interview questions, they are listening for examples of how you handled situations similar to the ones you may handle for this company. This is your chance to talk about your accomplishments. If you can demonstrate through examples (preferably recent ones) that you’ve succeeded in certain areas of interest, you’ll likely be considered a strong candidate for the position. After all, if you did it somewhere else yesterday, you can do it for this company tomorrow.

Your success stories should include the situation, the action you took and the result. Here is an example if you were interviewing for a sales position:

• The Situation: I had a customer who did not want to hear about the features of my merchandise because of a prior interaction with my company.
• The Action: I listened to her story and made sure I heard her complaint. I then explained how I would have handled the situation differently and how I can offer her better service. I showed her some facts that changed her mind about dealing with the company again.
• The Result: She not only bought the merchandise, but also complimented how I handled her account. She is now one of my best customers.

One way to prepare for behavioral interview questions is by writing out your stories before the interview. Determine what stories you have that would be appropriate for the position based on its job description. If the job requires dependability, write your story about a time when your dependability was recognized or made a difference with a customer.

You can use the stories you prepare even when the interviewer does not ask behavioral questions. If you are asked a traditional question, use your prepared story and preface it with, “I can give you an example of a time when I used that skill on a previous job.”

By preparing for the interview ahead of time and recalling your past successes, you will be able to have examples in mind and will not be caught off guard. There is no way you can predict what the interviewer is going to ask you, but you can prepare what you want him to know about your past as a predictor of your future performance.

What Are Your Long-Term Goals?

Open-ended interview questions such as “What are your long-term goals?” and “Where do you see yourself in five years?” throw most candidates off balance. Interviewers ask this question to gain insight into your self-awareness and communication skills.

Dan, a staffing manager, is about to interview Phil, Shawna and Marsha, for a project manager position. He is looking for someone with planning skills and long-range vision. He asks each of them, “What are your long-term goals?”

“To be a marketing manager within five years and have a hand-picked team reporting to me,” replies Phil. This is a very specific and narrow goal, which may not be an option at this company. The “hand-picked” team reference demonstrates a lack of flexibility. It’s best to stay away from too specific a goal.

“I have been so busy with my responsibilities and achieving company goals that I have not focused on personal long-term goals,” answers Shawna. While a strong work ethic is certainly desirable, this answer does not demonstrate vision or planning.

Marsha answers the question with: “I plan to return to school to earn my MBA and have my own consulting business one day.” While it pays to be honest, this answer could turn the interview in the wrong direction very quickly. The employer is looking for someone to stick around for the long run, not to stop over on the way to a new career.

So how could these candidates provide better answers?

Get Focused

If you are the type of person who prefers an organized way of life, you may find this question a piece of cake to answer. But if you’re among the majority of people who let life happen as it comes along, you will probably not have a smooth answer without some forethought.

What are your goals? Think about what you really want. Most successful business people will tell you that a key success factor is the ability to set and achieve goals.

Begin by setting short-term goals. Right now your goal may be to get a job. But what kind of job? And where do you go from there?

Be employer-centered. The employer is looking for someone to come in and solve problems. Since planning is a key factor in this job, think of examples where your planning has affected the results.

Scripting

After giving some thought as to where you want to go and how you can help the employer achieve results, try scripting your answer. Here’s an example:

“I have learned that long-term goals are best achieved when I break them into shorter goals. My short-term goal is to find a position that will put me in a forward-moving company with solid performance and future projections. As part of a team, I want to add value and continue to grow the company. My long-term goal will depend on where the company goes. My plan is to move into a position of responsibility where I can lead a team.”

No one can tell you exactly how to answer this question, since your response will come from what is important to you. However, the more focused and employer-centered you can be about your goal, the better your chances will be of steering the interview in the right direction.

Why Did You Leave Your Last Job?

There are many reasons you might have left your last job, and not all of them are rosy. Perhaps you worked for a toxic boss or you met obstacles on your way up the ladder. Or maybe you were just plain bored with your work.

Interviewers generally ask why you left your former company so they can “understand your motives and gain insight as to how [you] handle work relationships,” says Duncan Mathison, author of Unlock the Hidden Job Market: 6 Steps to a Successful Search When Times are Tough. “In particular they are asking themselves, ‘Will they leave us in the lurch if they become dissatisfied?’ or ‘Is there some dirt here?’” In short, asking “Why did you leave your last job?” is one way for the interviewer to ensure you’re a person of integrity.

How to Answer Interview Questions Like This

The best strategy for effectively answering this tough interview question is to prepare for it. Here’s how to be ready and how to recover when you’re not.

Emphasize Results

Do: Focus on results: Make a list of things you accomplished in your last position and focus on those, ending with something like, “‘Having successfully done that, I’m ready for another challenge,’” suggests Stephen Balzac, president of 7 Steps Ahead, a business consulting firm in Stow, Massachusetts. “Now what you’re saying to the interviewer is: ‘You can count on me to get results and stay here until I do.’”

Don’t: Answer in a way that doesn’t reassure the interviewer. “Answers such as, ‘I wasn’t being challenged’, ‘The work was no longer interesting’ or ‘The pay was too low’ all say the same thing to the interviewer: that you might leave at any time if things aren’t to your liking,” says Balzac.

Recover: If you give a bland answer, circle back to it quickly. And if you can’t, revisit why you left your last job just before you end the interview. This allows you to leave the interviewer with your previous accomplishments top of mind.

Be Polite

Do: Remember that employers run the show and can act as they see fit, according to Mathison. “Yet at the same time, make it clear that the organization you seek has the qualities to perform at a higher level,” he says. An example: “We all know that sometimes promises exceed reality. Our CEO was comfortable, as many are, with pushing the limits. But I feel that lasting business partnerships and profitability are built on my ability to deliver on my promises, so I’m looking for that type of company.”

Don’t: Badmouth the boss or the company. “That implies you may be difficult to manage,” Mathison says.

Recover: Acknowledge you were hard on your previous employer and restate your answer like this: “That might be a little harsh. I know that my former company is trying to do its best under the circumstances. I’m looking for a company that’s a better fit for me.” This also shows that you’re self-aware and have decent manners.

One Final Tip for the Interview

Don’t dwell too long on your previous employer — the interview is about you, after all. “Always bring the conversation back to your results and reliability,” Balzac notes.

Tell Me About Yourself

It’s one of the most frequently asked interview questions: Tell me about yourself. Your response to this request will set the tone for the rest of the interview. For some, this is the most challenging question to answer, as they wonder what the interviewer really wants to know and what information they should include.

Eleanor dreaded this question. When it was the first one asked at her interview, she fumbled her way through a vague answer, not focusing on what she could bring to the job.

“I’m happily married and originally from Denver,” she began. “My husband was transferred here three months ago, and I’ve been getting us settled in our new home. I’m now ready to go back to work. I’ve worked in a variety of jobs, usually customer service-related. I’m looking for a company that offers growth opportunities.”

The interview went downhill after that. She had started with personal information and gave the interviewer reason to doubt whether she was an employee who would stay for very long.

• She’s married, and when her husband gets transferred that means she has to leave; she did it once and can do it again.
• She has some work experience with customers but didn’t emphasize what she did.
• She is looking to grow. What about the job she is applying for? Will she stay content for long?

The secret to responding to this free-form request successfully is to focus, script and practice. You cannot afford to wing this answer, as it will affect the rest of the interview. Begin to think about what you want the interviewer to know about you.

Focus

List five strengths you have that are pertinent to this job (experiences, traits, skills, etc.). What do you want the interviewer to know about you when you leave?

Eleanor is strong in communications and connecting with people. She has a strong background and proven success with customer relationships. Her real strength is her follow-through. She prides herself on her reputation for meeting deadlines.

Scripting

Prepare a script that includes the information you want to convey. Begin by talking about past experiences and proven success:

“I have been in the customer service industry for the past five years. My most recent experience has been handling incoming calls in the high tech industry. One reason I particularly enjoy this business, and the challenges that go along with it, is the opportunity to connect with people. In my last job, I formed some significant customer relationships resulting in a 30 percent increase in sales in a matter of months.”

Next, mention your strengths and abilities:

“My real strength is my attention to detail. I pride myself on my reputation for following through and meeting deadlines. When I commit to doing something, I make sure it gets done, and on time.”

Conclude with a statement about your current situation:

“What I am looking for now is a company that values customer relations, where I can join a strong team and have a positive impact on customer retention and sales.”

Practice

Practice with your script until you feel confident about what you want to emphasize in your statement. Your script should help you stay on track, but you shouldn’t memorize it — you don’t want to sound stiff and rehearsed. It should sound natural and conversational.

Even if you are not asked this type of question to begin the interview, this preparation will help you focus on what you have to offer. You will also find that you can use the information in this exercise to assist you in answering other questions. The more you can talk about your product — you — the better chance you will have at selling it.

It crazy how support is now compared to how support was back a few years ago. I mean for people to support you they want to know what’s in it for them? Why do you have to receive anything for support.

You know, “good job,” “I read your blog post,” or maybe some helpful hints on how to get better.

Have we really become a society where we have to get something to give something. If so, count me out. I have a lot of friends who have blogs and I try and visit each and everything one of them once a week. Sometimes I comment most times I don’t. I don’t have to comment on everything you say just to know I support you.

It’s sad too because half of the people I support don’t support me.

I thought having a blog was easy, I mean I read Necolebitchie, MissJia, and SoFurious on a regular basis and I just figured I could do exactly what they were doing, no problem. Yeah, having a blog takes work and time, especially if it’s a blog that you want to become mainstream. Not to mention I know I make grammatical errors but the only way to get better at something is to keep at it until you get it right.

I started my blog for entertainment purposes only, it’s my life and it funny, a pain in the ass, stressful, full of love, full of hate, but at the end of the day it’s just MY life. I wanted to share it with whoever needs a laugh, can relate, offer words of encouragement, or set me straight. Sometimes the only support a blogger receives is from his or her readers.

I don’t ask for much, but a closed mouth won’t get fed. I will support even if the favor isn’t returned. Not in this for tit for tat.