Slush

July 25, 2011 | Author Admin

So even after an awesome service at church yesterday and the help of my mother today I still feel like slush. I have been unemployed for over a year, and not for a lack of trying. Atlanta has one of the highest unemployment rates in the country. Disability tells me that although I have a life threatening disease that I’m well enough to return to the workforce, but don’t do too much cause they don’t want me to drop dead. School is one of the few positives I have going and even then I’ve stumbled upon a road block. Tuition is increasing yet, again but the class sizes and the classes being offered are shrinking. I run the risk of not being able to take classes this fall because all the class I need to take for my major are full. When people ask me how am I doing I often lie just because the truth isn’t what anyone wants to hear. The truth is, I’m blessed to have survived a heart attack with just a stent in my heart. I’m grateful every morning I wake up but I feel like Bill Murray in Groundhog’s Day. I don’t go anywhere because that requires money, which I don’t have, and gas that I need to use sparingly. It is depressing everyday not to be able to sustain your basic necessities and have to depend on someone else for everything. There is nothing more demeaning then having to depend on someone to take care of your basic needs. I completely get how older people eat cat food because that’s all they can afford. Then on top of all that trying to keep a positive attitude it is a difficult and draining task. Having faith that things are going to work out for the better isn’t as easy as it once was. I can recall being able to pay my bills and if I had nothing left over then at least my bills were paid. Now I’m thankful don’t get me wrong because i have a roof over my head and a family that loves me but I want to be able to take care of them and not the other way around.

Posted in Spirit

jaz:

August 11, 2011 at 9:47 am

Well honey you are being tested seriously and it’s good that you still have faith that things ill work out. And they will. I hear ya, I;ve been through most of what you’ve been through, with the exception of an illness…you know HE only gives us what we can handle and if HE gave you a plate full of problems, your reward must be GREATER! Still keepin you in my prayers. XOXO

Sincerely,
Ex Chexar Rep
Jazmyn

JannRonn

Slush

Related Posts

One Response to “Slush”

Leave a Reply